I’ll say it bluntly, I was in danger of losing my mind.
I spent my adolescence in doctors offices and as part of medical trials. I was sick and we didn’t know why. Doctors were throwing diagnoses and medications at me like they were the darts and I was the dart board; forever searching for that elusive bulls-eye. I missed a lot of school and was unable to participate in many of the things people my age were supposed to. It was not easy.
Fast forward to my last year of high school. I had a new diagnosis and a medication that started to work. I was finally feeling better. I was finally a normal teenager. I could not have been happier. I was able to go off to college where I had the time of my life. Things could not have been better for me. I had tons of friends, was dating, and even joined a sorority. I thought I would finally be able to have a normal life. I would go on to get a great job and start a family. That’s what I hope would happen anyways.
After college I moved home and started to get sick again. The diagnosis was proven to be wrong and we were once again back to the drawing board. I was crushed. It might have been better if I had never had those good years at all; if I had never know what it felt like to be uninhibited by disease. The worst part was that it came back worse than ever. I had trouble even leaving the house. I spent more time in my bed than on my feet.
As you can imagine, my spirits were low. I’ve always been a happy person but the depression began to creep in.
I began to write.
I spent hours upon hours every day carefully crafting my words, never imagining anything would come of it. I created my own world. I focused on building characters that could do great things. I began to think less and less about my problems. Instead, my thoughts turned to unwritten chapter ideas and dialogue possibilities. Two months went by and I had my first draft of Dawn of Rebellion.
My illness had always left me feeling useless. I could accomplish anything. I was never really good at anything. I didn’t really have a passion for anything.
Writing this book saved my sanity. It also made me realize that I am a writer and I have a story to tell. As long as I keep writing I can get through anything. Whether I sell 1 book or 1 million books, that’s not the point. I write because I love it. I write because I need it. I write for that one person out there that may be struggling and looking for a little inspiration as well.